Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Time for a Little Bit of Reminiscing (Happy, Funny Times)

Let's face it friends.  There isn't a whole lot to laugh about right now.  I don't think that there is anyone at all that cares whether or not Alec Baldwin will be available to portray the Fascista on SNL.  It's not all about the bottom line for established comedy TV shows.  Maybe that is the last thing that matters.  But I remain unconvinced.


So, in an effort to reclaim past funny ha-has, written when there really was something to laugh about, I offer to my readers two classic posts, or more accurately a post on the Dog Report and the gist of one comment offered on the venerable Swash Zone.


Two song parodies.  Maybe I could have put together a couple of song videos on YouTube.  Piano, guitar and vocals?  But instead, I call upon your imaginations.  Herewith, "Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Liberals," and "The Ballad of Butt Chimney."


Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Liberals


Mama don't let your babies grow up to be lib’ruls
Don't let 'em vote commie and drive ‘lectric cars
Make 'em cut taxes for plumbers and such;
Mama don't let your babies grow up to be lib’ruls
They'll never cut taxes, no matter the facts is
Even when times are tough.

Lib’ruls ain't easy to love and they're hard to understand
And they're always talkin’ ‘bout givin’ poor folks a hand;
Greenpeace bumper stickers and “Save the Whales” T-shirts
Each day they fight for the cause;
And if you can’t rig the Diebolds and close the polls early
They’ll probably let black people vote.

Mama don't let your babies grow up to be lib’ruls
Don't let 'em tax windfall profits for oil
Alternative energy totally sucks;
Mama don't let your babies grow up to be lib’ruls
They'll never drill offshore and dig up the ANWR
Even for the oil we love.

Lib’ruls like socialized medicine and clean air and water
Health care for seniors and children and illegal aliens;
And we that know better fight funding for college
The free market always works best!
They ain't just wrong, they's different from decent Murkins like us.




The Ballad of Butt Chimney
 
Everybody remembers Donovan's Mellow Yellow, right?

I'm a Massachusetts liberal;
Liberal republican I!
I'm a hard-core conservative;
got to live free or die!

They call me Butt Chimney!
(Smoke comes out my ass)

If I'm elected you'll get a good job;
If he is re-elected you won't!
Economies have to recover;
But if you elect Obama they don't!

They call me Butt Chimney!
(Smoke comes out my ass)
They call me Butt Chimney!
I will never apologize for America!
They call me Butt Chimney!
If elected I will repeal Obamacare!
They call me Butt Chimney!
Romneycare is a good thing!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I saw my father march with Martin Luther King!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I've been a hunter pretty much all my life;
They call me Butt Chimney!
I'm happy to learn that after I speak you're going to hear from Ann Coulter!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I like being able to fire people who provide services to me!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I'll tell you what, ten-thousand bucks? $10,000 bet?
They call me Butt Chimney!
I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I'm not concerned about the very poor. We have a safety net there;
They call me Butt Chimney!
PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air!
They call me Butt Chimney!
There were a couple of times I wondered whether I was going to get a pink slip;
They call me Butt Chimney!
So this morning I had a little bowl of Corn Flakes;
They call me Butt Chimney!
I put a little honey on 'em. Think I got a little sugar buzz going!
They call me Butt Chimney!
You know, I LOVE cars!
They call me Butt Chimney!
There was a time, forty or fifty years ago..
They call me Butt Chimney!
(Smoke comes out my ass!)

repeat/fade

6 comments:

  1. Commenting is moderate right now.

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  2. You are right that it is evil to compare Trump to Der Fuhrer. A travesty and a sin. An insult to those who suffered, died and were tortured. Bravo Luke. Mussolini is a more apt comparison insofar as in the way that he communicates and speaks in public. But that doesn't hold up too well either. Mussolini was extremely masculine. Trump is sort of a cross between a spoiled child and an out-of-control lunatic alien in need of discipline and punishment. You really get the feeling that he enjoys inflicting poverty and hardship on other human beings. He likes to rip people off. Like his chum, Butt Chimney, he really does enjoy firing people.

    Your post? Not so original. Keep trying.

    So you're okay with Trump as president? I figured as much. You don't seem very bright. Let's just hope that we all survive this without too much pain and anguish.

    As far as the recounts, most likely you are correct. Whatever cheating has been going on, it probably can't be detected at this late hour. But those republican politicians in Michigan certainly are acting like they have quite a bit to hide.

    Bush was more like LBJ.

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  3. "Bravo Luke"? Bullshit! Luke is a HUGE hypocrite with his criticism of those who compare Trump to Hitler. Luke accuses EVERYONE he doesn't like of antisemitism. I know this because every one of the comments he submits to my blog include accusations that I'm a "Nazi". Why? Because I allow RN to comment on my blog! Is that not "an insult to those who suffered, died and were tortured"... to fling around serious accusations of antisemitism and Nazism because I won't hate who Luke hates?

    BTW, I am making comparisons between Trump and Hitler on my blog. Evil? Not when Trump has hired a White Nationalist as his chief advisor and gained support for his demonization of Mexicans (rapers who are stealing our jobs) and Muslims (they're all terrorists are are protecting terrorists). According to Oxford researcher, Dr Kevin Dutton, "the key similarity is the emotional strategy and, specifically, the way in which both maestros of rhetoric exploited the primal emotions of Pride, Fear and Anger" (Expert on Nazism explains the shocking similarities between Trump and Hitler's propaganda tactics).

    That Trump could be America's Hitler is a valid fear, IMO. Of course he hasn't taken power yet, so it remains to be seen what he does. But the possibility is very real that Trump could be a Hitler-like leader.

    You are right about Luke not being that bright, though. He writes posts nearly identical to those he wrote as "TOM" on his old blog "Stay A While" yet he insists he is not TOM. Even though TOM is also obsessed with hating RN and insisting everyone who allows RN to comment on their blogs is also guilty of antisemitism.

    Luke is thrilled that Trump is going to be president. Not because he likes Trump, but because Trump being president allows him the opportunity to "shove it down the throats of these mean, hate filled, crazy liberals". Also, given that Luke may be well off (he wrote that he was part Native American on his father's side on Stay A While and that, because of that, he was going to apply for a share of casino revenues... 250k a year according to TOM/Luke) he might be looking forward to a big Trump tax cut.

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  4. As for your post... why was smoke coming out of Romney's ass?? If you're blowing smoke up OTHER people's butts that means you're a liar. Which Romney did. But that doesn't mean smoke would come out of HIS ass. I don't get it.

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  5. I wasn't thinking about how Luke/Tom railed like a rabid dog against a good man that we both know about anti-semitism, a charge that was completely without merit. He never really gave it up, year after year, but he kept on doggedly making his baseless claims.

    I do think that it is a bit over-the-top to compare Trump to Hitler. I mean, you know, the guy hasn't even murdered anybody yet! The fact that he is so magnetic and appealing to American Nazis is just sickening.

    The most chilling comparison between what is happening on the alt-right in the U.S. today and the events in Germany in the 1930s that led up to the Second World War in Europe is very insidious indeed. The scary part is that everyday people that in no way saw themselves as inherently evil or racist or advocates of genocide, ethnic cleansing and concentration camps or ghettos for Jews, somehow gradually accepted the ideas of the Third Reich. Just plain old folks. All they wanted to do was make Germany white again. They just wanted to rid the Fatherland of weaker races, feeble-minded homosexuals and undesirables. To get the powerful Jewish influence out of commerce, banking and academia.

    Of course, it doesn't sound all that different than using a word like, "Mexican," as a swear word. Or saying that black people that get arrested or shot by the cops deserve everything that they get because they have no respect for law and order or they don't know how to keep their noses clean. Trump felt that black people might as well vote for him. What the hell did they have to lose anyway? An absolutely disgusting politician of the worst stripe. Trump is a hairy-ass bitch. I sure as fuck wish that he didn't win. What an ignorant people we have become.

    According to Ivana, Trump did keep a book of Hitler's speeches from 1919 to somewhere in the 1930s near his bedside. He would read from the great master on a regular basis. Read and learn.

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  6. As far as my little songs. It did cheer me up a little bit. Back in 2008 and 2012 with Barack Obama winning the White House, it really did seem like the good guys were winning. My favorite is,"Mama don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be Lib'ruls." I ostensibly wrote that song for Joe the Plumber, in case he ever wanted to cash in on his fame and put together some music.

    Butt Chimney wasn't all that funny. But it is funny to remember all of the goofy sound bites that he came up with every morning out on the campaign bus. What a kook! La Jolla republicans were all excited that he bought a house on Sea Lane that was going to be his Western White House. Thank the Goddess that never quite worked out for him.

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