Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Time for a Little Bit of Reminiscing (Happy, Funny Times)

Let's face it friends.  There isn't a whole lot to laugh about right now.  I don't think that there is anyone at all that cares whether or not Alec Baldwin will be available to portray the Fascista on SNL.  It's not all about the bottom line for established comedy TV shows.  Maybe that is the last thing that matters.  But I remain unconvinced.


So, in an effort to reclaim past funny ha-has, written when there really was something to laugh about, I offer to my readers two classic posts, or more accurately a post on the Dog Report and the gist of one comment offered on the venerable Swash Zone.


Two song parodies.  Maybe I could have put together a couple of song videos on YouTube.  Piano, guitar and vocals?  But instead, I call upon your imaginations.  Herewith, "Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Liberals," and "The Ballad of Butt Chimney."


Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Liberals


Mama don't let your babies grow up to be lib’ruls
Don't let 'em vote commie and drive ‘lectric cars
Make 'em cut taxes for plumbers and such;
Mama don't let your babies grow up to be lib’ruls
They'll never cut taxes, no matter the facts is
Even when times are tough.

Lib’ruls ain't easy to love and they're hard to understand
And they're always talkin’ ‘bout givin’ poor folks a hand;
Greenpeace bumper stickers and “Save the Whales” T-shirts
Each day they fight for the cause;
And if you can’t rig the Diebolds and close the polls early
They’ll probably let black people vote.

Mama don't let your babies grow up to be lib’ruls
Don't let 'em tax windfall profits for oil
Alternative energy totally sucks;
Mama don't let your babies grow up to be lib’ruls
They'll never drill offshore and dig up the ANWR
Even for the oil we love.

Lib’ruls like socialized medicine and clean air and water
Health care for seniors and children and illegal aliens;
And we that know better fight funding for college
The free market always works best!
They ain't just wrong, they's different from decent Murkins like us.




The Ballad of Butt Chimney
 
Everybody remembers Donovan's Mellow Yellow, right?

I'm a Massachusetts liberal;
Liberal republican I!
I'm a hard-core conservative;
got to live free or die!

They call me Butt Chimney!
(Smoke comes out my ass)

If I'm elected you'll get a good job;
If he is re-elected you won't!
Economies have to recover;
But if you elect Obama they don't!

They call me Butt Chimney!
(Smoke comes out my ass)
They call me Butt Chimney!
I will never apologize for America!
They call me Butt Chimney!
If elected I will repeal Obamacare!
They call me Butt Chimney!
Romneycare is a good thing!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I saw my father march with Martin Luther King!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I've been a hunter pretty much all my life;
They call me Butt Chimney!
I'm happy to learn that after I speak you're going to hear from Ann Coulter!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I like being able to fire people who provide services to me!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I'll tell you what, ten-thousand bucks? $10,000 bet?
They call me Butt Chimney!
I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I'm not concerned about the very poor. We have a safety net there;
They call me Butt Chimney!
PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air!
They call me Butt Chimney!
There were a couple of times I wondered whether I was going to get a pink slip;
They call me Butt Chimney!
So this morning I had a little bowl of Corn Flakes;
They call me Butt Chimney!
I put a little honey on 'em. Think I got a little sugar buzz going!
They call me Butt Chimney!
You know, I LOVE cars!
They call me Butt Chimney!
There was a time, forty or fifty years ago..
They call me Butt Chimney!
(Smoke comes out my ass!)

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